May 23 2011 10:28 AM
My mother is 87 and a very proud woman. Her memory is failing her so I must remind and sometimes tell her what she needs to do. I tryed once to tell mom she needs to wash her "private parts" better cuz she has an odor. That did not sit well. So anyone got a better idea on how to approach this subject with better results?
Caring for others discussion
 Hercules Member since: 5/23/11 |
How Do You Tell Mom She Smells? |
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ChristyB Member since: 11/17/10 |
Re: How Do You Tell Mom She Smells?
May 24 2011 07:59 AM It can be hard to remind your mother to take care of herself. If you are having difficulties with discussing her odor problems, it may be a good idea to see her doctor for advice. She may develop further medical issues because of the odor. Is she the type of person that will listen to a doctor if he brings it up? That could make it easier on you both. |
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oldwoman Member since: 5/29/11 |
Re: How Do You Tell Mom She Smells?
May 29 2011 09:21 AM The reason this is going on is because she feels the need to save money by wearing her depends for several days. She only wears them now in case she does not make it to the bathroom on time. The depends are not necessary wet, but have been worn for several days and she would smell if she was wearing regular underpanties. We have a good relationship but this issue has me in a quandry. I recently point blank asked her when she last changed her depends. Knowing the answer, she did reply a couple of days ago. I explain that was not healthy and she could get a UTI and she needs to change them every day. Did not exactly work. Any good ideas? |
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ChristyB Member since: 11/17/10 |
Re: How Do You Tell Mom She Smells?
May 31 2011 08:06 AM If she is not comfortable talking with a doctor, do you have a relative or friend that would be willing to talk to her? Some parents can feel self-conscious about discussing medical issues with their children. If she has a confidant that would guide her to take better care of her health, this can lessen the burden on you. |
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LadyUnicorn Member since: 4/10/11 |
Re: How Do You Tell Mom She Smells?
Jun 17 2011 03:23 PM Appeal to her pride - point out that the body naturally has odor and if you don't keep clean or change clothing daily or more often, you increase the natural unpleasant odor. I have had similar issues, and simply turned it around when she started to get offended and laughed at myself and how I had come in from outside activity in the heat and could barely stand myself. When it's not just her, it makes it easier. One important thing is this...You said she is trying to save money. I agree, Depends are expensive (they all are). Is she on Medicare? I just found out yesterday that if your parent is on Medicare, if his/her doctor will write a prescription for them, you might have a pharmacy in your area that covers them. They are covered for clients at a friend's family's ALF; I haven't submitted mine for sure, but the dr's office said that it will be covered. Good luck. |
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dave82 Member since: 3/31/09 |
Re: How Do You Tell Mom She Smells?
Jun 17 2011 07:51 PM Have you suggested recommending reusable garments, there are some available in various degrees of absorbencies depending on her needs. That way she can wash them, and cycle through them weather or not she needs to use them. |
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SASSYLADYBEE Member since: 6/23/11 |
Re: How Do You Tell Mom She Smells?
Jun 23 2011 04:49 PM It depends on the situation. Is she aware of the situation or is she like an alzheimer patient? If she has her faculties then I would just explain to Mom that she needs to be changed so she won't get infections. If she has alzheimers I would propably just change her without saying anything. |
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SASSYLADYBEE Member since: 6/23/11 |
Re: How Do You Tell Mom She Smells?
Jun 23 2011 04:54 PM I hadn't read your post completely as I am new to this site. I deal with this as well my Mom is 91 y.o. and she has an odor from urine too at times She also is very proud and it is difficult to tell the person that loved and nurtured you as a child that they are not being efficienct at taking care of themselves but it must be done. The memory loss creates a different type of problem but you must let her know that you think she's doing a great job but maybe you can help you make it a little easier by assisting her in her cleaning.n I hope this helps you as this is a most difficult time in our lives. God Bless You |
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ChristyB Member since: 11/17/10 |
Re: How Do You Tell Mom She Smells?
Jul 08 2011 08:01 AM This is good to point out. It seems like you give your mother positive encouragement. They may just need an optimistic approach to let them know they are doing great. Yet offering to assist with whatever they need to make it easier can give them encouragement to take better care of themselves. |
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zoe2011 Member since: 7/14/11 |
Re: How Do You Tell Mom She Smells?
Jul 14 2011 05:41 PM My mother is 89 and when I first noticed the odor I had no idea how to tell her she smelled. This was a few months ago,her health has gotten gradually worse since then and now I just tell her like I would a child that we need to change her pad so she won't smell,that I know she wouldn't want anyone to think she smelled. Now she is used to me taking care of her so there isn't a problem. |
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Hercules Member since: 5/23/11 |
Re: How Do You Tell Mom She Smells?
Jul 21 2011 08:43 AM Zoe, Like the help you suggested Like the help offered by everyone. How are we going to make it through this??? |
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KimW Member since: 8/8/11 |
Re: How Do You Tell Mom She Smells?
Aug 08 2011 01:54 PM Has your mom been checked for a bladder infection? |
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