Dec 30 2011 07:33 PM
I am a 43 year old Male. I wear Depend Underwear. I have a 10 year old son who stays with me on weekends, but he has never seen me wearing one. I always hide in the closet when I put one on or have to change. He almost seen me last weekend & that would have been embarrassing to me. His mom has talked to him about my problem, but I don't really know if I should just let him see me or what?
Men's discussion
 bullpen12 Member since: 8/3/11 |
Embarrassed |
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feralfreak Member since: 5/27/09 |
RE: Embarrassed
Dec 30 2011 08:39 PM dont hide the fact that you need to wear protection, treat it like regular underwear. one day he might have to wear them, or if he is a bedwetter he might need them now, either way, dont hide it, he might have questions and if he sees the pullups he might ask them and learn something, and if sometime in the future he ends up needing them, he might not feel as bad about it. |
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Jim L. Member since: 3/31/09 |
RE: Embarrassed
Dec 30 2011 08:39 PM could you change in the bathroom or wear a long tee shirt? I know extra long tee shirts are available at Penney's probably sears also. While they may not cover the pants completely, they would camouflage them. |
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JaneF Member since: 11/17/10 |
Re: Embarrassed
Dec 31 2011 09:43 AM Bullpen, I tend to agree with feral that in the long run, you will have a less stressful time with your son if he understands your condition. No matter how hard you try to hide things and appear normal, your stress is going to show and if he is a normal kid, he's going to think it's something he is doing wrong. For whatever reason, incontinence is uncontrollable reality for those of us here. For people close to us, it's just easier for them to know. No one is condemned if they have poor hearing or eyesight, high blood pressure or diabetes. You might find some literature to print out about your specific type of incontinence, about how it affects a large number of people no matter their age, and it's not something to be ashamed about but it is private and it does requires management. Good luck with what ever you decide to do. Jane |
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oab2011 Member since: 8/4/11 |
Re: Embarrassed
Dec 31 2011 10:47 AM If it were me, I'd talk to my son about my incontinence and the fact that I wear this type of underwear means that I have control of my situation. By all means, approach it on the basis it's nothing to be ashamed of and that it's something that happens to people just like other chronic conditions. And by all means, talk to him when he's receptive and you two can have a quiet moment or two together. The more upfront you are, the better your son will understand. And if he happens to see you wearing your protection, then so what? He will know about it and it will not be such a foreign concept. I hope this helps and good luck. The approaching new year is an opportune time to talk with your son. |
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Nick Member since: 3/31/09 |
Re: Embarrassed
Dec 31 2011 11:45 AM I agree with the others who advise you to be open and honest with your son. Your incontinence is a medical condition and nothing to be ashamed of. If you were hard of hearing, would you hide the fact that you needed to wear a hearing aid? In my opinion, a diaper is a product that enables you to manage incontinence in a fashion analogous to using a hearing aid to manage loss of hearing or glasses to manage poor eyesight. |
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bullpen12 Member since: 8/3/11 |
Re: Embarrassed
Dec 31 2011 12:20 PM I appreciate all your advice. I think I may just let him see me wearing one & go from there. Like I said, his mom has talked to him about my problem & explained to him that it's not my fault. He told her about a couple times in the past where I had wet the bed before I had to wear protection, but I had no clue that he knew. It used to come in spurts. I would have an accident every now & then when I couldn't get to a bathroom in time & would wet the bed from time to time, but it has worsened over the past year or so to the point I have to wear all the time. I have had MANY Kidney Stones & had to have Lithotripsy all the time which weakened my bladder. I live in a small town & still can't buy my Depend's here for fear of someone I know seeing me. I go to another town 48 miles away to buy them. I do love the Depend Underwear, discreet & nobody can even tell I'm wearing one. |
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Puffy Pants Member since: 12/24/09 |
Re: Embarrassed
Dec 31 2011 02:12 PM Welcome bullpen12, I laughed at the line about you going out of town 48 miles to buy your needed products (not at you, WITH you!)... I did the same exact thing when it all started for me, and I thought I was alone in this kind of adventure... I would have never dared buying in town where I lived in fear of being found out, after 15 +years, it is not an issue any longer, just a fact of life. Hope it all works out with your son, I would also be honest and up front with him, if is just another medical issue that people have to face sometimes, not a big deal unless it is made to be one...  Puffy
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JaneF Member since: 11/17/10 |
Re: Embarrassed
Jan 01 2012 12:08 PM Bullpen, as you can see from this thread, this is a supportive community. If you have questions or just need somewhere to bounce off an idea, this is the place. Good luck with your son. Jane |
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oab2011 Member since: 8/4/11 |
Re: Embarrassed
Jan 01 2012 03:51 PM Bullpen12, I'm glad you're taking this on and plan to let your son see you wearing your protection. Although your wife "paved the way," a talk about something personal to you is much better coming from you. If you do that, your son is going to know you aren't holding anything back and he won't regard it as such a big mystery or something to be ashamed of. Better to let it all hang out, as it were. He will then (hopefully) be able to open up to you more. I can also identify with your going 48 miles to another town to get your supplies. I had done that, as well. But anymore, I'm getting more attuned to buying my things much closer to home. For instance, I have three local CVS and an equal number of Walgreen stores nearby and a Wal-Mart. After all, the stores are well-stocked with Depends, etc., so that must mean that many people buy 'em all the time. And if someone you know sees you, then who's to say they don't have a similar situation? And there's always ordering supplies online from a trusted supplier. If you go that route, I'd try to find one who'll ship for free. I use a different product that I get from a supplier from Michigan and it's free shipping. Good luck, once again, and hope things work out! |
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Patrick Member since: 8/26/09 |
Re: Embarrassed
Jan 02 2012 09:25 PM Kidney stones can be extremely painful. If you have had so many that they weakened your bladder, my heart goes out to you. I hope your son's body chemistry will not cause him to have kidney stones when he grows up. Many folks think that incontinence is more embarrassing than painful, and, for many that is so. However, for an unlucky few, incontinence can be caused by conditions, such as kidney stones, that are very painful. I would include kidney stones as a major topic in your discussion with your son. Good luck, and report back when you can. |
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Wesbedwtr Member since: 12/31/11 |
Re: Embarrassed
Jan 22 2012 07:23 PM That is a huge delimma of mine as well I have two sons (10 and 8). They stay with me at times. I really don't want them to know daddy wets the bed and has to be diapered. Wes |
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Wesbedwtr Member since: 12/31/11 |
Re: Embarrassed
Jan 22 2012 07:23 PM That is a huge delimma of mine as well I have two sons (10 and 8). They stay with me at times. I really don't want them to know daddy wets the bed and has to be diapered. Wes |
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