Women's discussion

Aug 18 2011 01:41 AM

About a year ago I had my son. While pregnant, I started wearing overnight pads to deal with the changes. Now anyone who`s ever had a baby knows the havoc it can wreak on your bladder! One day at the gym, I literally visited the bathroom 6 times in less than an hour. Each time, about a tablespoon of liquid would come out! Wanting to get some exercise to stay in shape, I decided to purposely let some pee dribble into my pad when it happened again. Big mistake! That one time, the pad overflowed!
I decided to swtich to poise pads for the rest of my pregnancy to avoid any additional accidents.

For the duration of my pregnancy, I wore a poise pad to keep me protected and dry. Nobody questioned this. If I couldn`t quite make it to the toilet, I simply used the pad to relief the stress. Sometimes it was a legitimate accident, sometimes I had control of the situation.

After my son was born, I continued with the poise pads for post partum. I also enjoyed the freedom of not having to always find a washroom.

It`s been almsot a year and I still use poise pads if I`m going to be somewhere where access to a toilet is inconvenient.

I`ve read online that these types of things often happen after pregnancy. For me, though, wetting my pad
isn`t an accident in the traditional sense. I have full control and consciously choose to do so. I don`t always do so, but sometimes while at home or while busy doing something (cooking etc.), I`ll let a little out to relieve the pressure until I decide to visit the toilet. If I`m wearing a poise pad, I`ll often do a complete void.

It`s kind of embarassing to admit this, but it often feels kind of `nice`knowing that I`m protected. The problem is that I feel guilty for doing this, as if I`m a little girl who has done something wrong.
I`ve mentioned this to a few friends, but only one is willing to admit she did this while pregnant. Nobody seems to admit that they have done this while not pregnant or on purpose. Should I be feeling guilty about this?

Aug 18 2011 06:03 PM

Having to wet is one road and wetting just to avoid the McCallister dash to the restroom is another.
The point here is both are "roads" that are made to be driven.
It is A-OK to be protected for the times you need it which can happen without notice. It is also A-OK to use your protection when "nature calls" and you want to use your "answering machine" instead.
As Bobby McFerrin once said
"Don't Worry Be Happy"
All The Best,
Earl H.

Aug 21 2011 11:42 PM

Don't feel guilty. You can't let incontinence ruin your life.

Mar 15 2012 07:00 AM

Hi Lisa88
I could only imagine what you are going through, baby, pregnancy, being busy and all you do. Take time out of your busy schedule just for you. You have been through a lot in your life and it's high time for you to be tender towards yourself. I find a bit of time to treat myself as well as take care of those intimate issues we all have as women. As far as you needing protection in your life please don't feel guilty or shame for that at all. Whether you wear a pad or a diaper you need protection just like me and it is okay to need that. Like I have said in my previous post and replies be very gentle with yourself and allow time for daily healing and health. You are deserving of it just like all us women. May you have peace in your life and may your family be well.

Ladyerica

Mar 28 2012 01:47 PM

I went through similar feelings. After my 2nd pregnancy I also developed stress incontinence. It was no big deal and small pads sufficed for a while but as the years went on it got worse and I also developed occasional urge incontinence. That was far harder to deal with since pads did not suffice to keep me from leaking. After moving to underwear style for the daytime and briefs for the night, I also have to admit to being guilty of using them for convenience and not trying so hard to make it to the bathroom. That urge feeling of stress is no fun and knowing you can safely relive it without embarrassing yourself was a strong temptation to just use the product for what it was intended to do. But you are risking making your incontinence at lot worse a lot quicker especially if you are just letting go of complete voids without trying to hold it. Within like 5 years I went from I'll use the bathroom if I am within 10 minutes of one to pretty much being completely dependent on wearing briefs even when I am at home. I got lazy and gave into the urge and the time before it became critical just kept reducing itself. My doctor said my bladder kept resetting itself to the lower volumes and therefore my frequency of needing to go and urge kept going up as I progressed to just using the protection more often rather than dealing with and trying to prolong the urge. So just a warning that if you absolutely want to avoid having to wear heavier protection like diapers in the future you might want to restrain yourself from getting as bad as I did. Not being able to go protection free for even an hour has definitely caused minor social and psychological problems in my life. I do sometimes fell like such a loser when I get out of the shower and have to put on a diaper to not ruin my carpet. It is very mixed feelings of being happy that I no longer have to worry about ever finding a toilet in time again to embarrassment that it is because I gave up to being in diapers for the rest of my life. I am surprised a poise pad is enough to contain a full void for you. I guess times have changed since back when my urge incontinence hit disposable underwear was the only thing that could handle a sudden full void loss of control for me. Ironically now that I void pretty much unconsciously like every hour a pad can suffice for me for a couple of hours but it is not worth the hassle of changing every couple of hours when 2-3 Tena Ultras a day and one Tena Super for the night works well for me.