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When to change, spreading, and embarrassment

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I am a 31 Years old and have had severe urinary incontinence since high school. But just recently after the delivery of my son I have been experiencing fecal incontinence. I am now wearing The depends maximum protection diapers, and with 2 kids it is hard to find time to change into a new one. \nHow long can I wait to change the diaper?\n\nAll of my BM's are very loose and spread quickly during the day I can usually contain it. However a night I am a very deep sleeper and when I wake up in the morning it has spread al over the diaper front and back. It is an awful feeling to wake up to.\nIs there a way to stop this from happening?\n\nFinally embarrassment my husband of course knows,but my kids don't and I am very hesitant about telling my friends because I don't think they will understand. \n\nFor all of the fellow moms out there dealing with incontinence doesn't feel weird changing you're baby's diaper while wearing one? I just feel so embarrassed.\nSorry if my questions sound stupid but I am new to this.

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More articles:
Previous
What if: A superhero with incontinence
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where to carry a spare diaper